In terms of music, I thought you were going to make this story about the effect of music on the sixties type kids but your musical references seem sporadic.  They do not seem central to the story.  What seem central to the story so far is the effect that Tommy had on your life and your relationship with your mother, and the whole experience of dropping acid.  Those two things come across as paramount but the music is more in the background.

    yeah, he never was all that good with emotion, especially writing or talking about it. did he love anyone? do insane people love anyone? do psychologically abused children love anyone? do virgos love anyone? do men love anyone? or, more important maybe - can they?
    yes/no?
    there was love - he's pretty sure. he likes love songs - feels like colored rain, maybe i'm amazed, like a bridge over trouble waters, eight days a week, wowie zowie i don't even care if you shave your legs, yummy yummy yummy, it's no secret how much your love has got me jumping up and down, hush hush i thought i heard her calling my name, in the sunshine of your love, yeah yeah she's the one, when a man loves a woman, lonely days lonely nights where would i be without my woman.
    also when there wasn't love - here i stand head in hand turn myself to the wall, well i used to love her but it's all over now, is this love or just confusion, finished with my woman because she couldn't help me with my mind, you didn't try to call me, well i may laugh and act like a clown. but is any of that it? he's never written a love song or poetry. he  writes more social commentary and maybe more philosophical stuff. he's never been a romantic, though he's very quick to say, i love you. many times a little too quick as it has turned out on some occasions. but was that any more than monkey see, monkey do? that's what they did in the movies. he's still a sucker for romantic comedies - like, damage.
    he feels something that isn't just fucking - though he still loves fucking. women are more than cunts - he's a leg man himself. they're faces, eyes, voices speaking. he was brought up to be ashamed of sex and wanting to have sex. and then the puritan anti-sex turned into the feminist anti-sex - all penetration is rape in its extreme. he never forced himself on anyone for himself or his own needs. he's never been just physically attracted to a woman - the babes. who she is as a person is just, if not more, important than what she looks like. sometimes he can't even get laid in his sex fantasies because they always start with a build-up scenario where he meets someone, they talk, they go to one of their places, they talk, and often he's gotten so caught up with this imaginary conversation he's having that he forgets to jerk off. when he does have sex with someone it's important to him that she wants to have sex with him too, and enjoys it as much as he does when they do. he needs a very bright clear green light waving right in his face before he'll do anything. but once he gets that signal...
    but we're back on sex again.
    he always liked being with women, sex or no sex, even when he was younger. at holidays, when the family would get together, the men and the women would split up. the women in the kitchen, the men in the den watching a game or something. robert was always in the kitchen. he liked the kitchen. of course he had no idea what to do there, and since he was a guy no one taught him. but he liked being there. he liked what women talked about more than men. they talked about real things - life. they talked about what jerks the men were. he didn't want to be a jerk so he listened to what they didn't like and tried to learn how not to be one. he was a spy. men talked sports and business. with the men, since he was the youngest, he was at the bottom. with the women that didn't matter. he liked being with meg and #2 in meg's kitchen. he liked being with kathy in her kitchen where they planned all their shows. that was real. the theory is developed in the kitchen.
    love. he's trying to avoid the question, what is love? do we all know what it is? is it the same for everyone? is it always selfless? if you send someone else to be eaten by the rats does that mean you don't love them anymore, like winston did with julia in 1984? he thinks it doesn't - doesn't mean that it does that is. love is not selfless. everything we do can be broken down into selfish or at least self-centered acts - even love - enlightened self-interest. even jesus hanging on the damn cross was a selfish act. he wanted others to love him. otherwise he'd be up in heaven playing solitaire for all eternity all by himself. we want from others what we cannot give to ourselves - and often that is love. we know ourselves too well. we know how evil and despicable we are - or can be. who could love us? and when someone does, it's a miracle. and this is very much a virgo's response to the question - the calculation of love.
    and maybe he hasn't written about love because he has doubts that he feels it. was it all sex? what was this emotion he was supposed to feel? he knows he felt need. and more than just sexual need. sex was the icing on the cake. oh, she loves me and wants to be with me. great. AND she's going to let me have sex with her? it was psychological need. the presence of someone to share thoughts with. someone, so he wouldn't have to be alone, his greatest fear. it wasn't physical aloneness that he feared. he liked being physically alone. he didn't like being around a lot of people. when he was by himself he had plenty to do. he had his imagination. it was more existential aloneness that he feared. being alone in the universe. he was also on his mission - a mission to breed. with each girlfriend he thought, she's the one i'm going to have children with.
    as far as being dead, add one more. he was born with a strangulated hernia. he was operated on when he was 3 weeks old. so he is very much a product of this age. he would not have survived in any other. he would have died because he couldn't shit. what a way to go.
    he felt rather passionate love for most of his girlfriends. he wanted to be with them more than anything - fucking or not. he wanted them to be with him. and each for their uniqueness. some were cerebral. others just funny. some were strange. not so much with debbi. he loved her but wasn't in love with her. she was his best friend. (when they said they were getting married their friends said, you can't do that, she's one of the guys) he had thought that made the difference and why it worked with her while it didn't work with others. it's still the longest sexual relationship he's had. and she's the mother of their children. whatever shit they went through in the end - and there was quite a bit - he loved her for that, and still does. she understood him more than the others. she saw through his bullshit more than the others. he never quite understood her though. and that's where she had him in the end.
    cold and hostile?  those are virgo traits, insane traits, abused traits, male traits - though not exclusively. he can get cold and hostile real quick but he doesn't feel that he generally feels that way. when he was with sigrid he doubts it was because she felt he was cold and hostile. so there must have been something. something he said and did that convinced her that he loved her and she could love him back. he doesn't think it was all just to get into her pants. when they made out he tried for that, but they weren't making out all the time. he liked just being with her by itself - just hanging out talking about whatever it was they used to talk about. there was something else there to have made it so they kept up this long term relationship - the longest he's had with anyone. she's the oldest friend he's got. and that started soon after they broke up. he doesn't remember exactly how or when they bridged that but it was only about a year or so after that they were hanging out at meg's.
    it's cutting off those heads, isn't it? he had written back to her that at that time in his life he felt that people could see him through their pictures - there's an insane trait. but he had posters of rock stars and didn't cut off their heads. so why didn't he want to look at the faces of naked women or want naked women looking at him? he still doesn't know. he knows it's creepy. he knew then it was creepy. he doesn't even know why he hung them up at all, headless or not. but isn't that what you're supposed to do with them? isn't that what they were created for? - the centerfolds, not the women. he can't come up with anything. he just did it, that's all. one more strange creepy thing out of hundreds, thousands of strange creepy things he's done in his life. he told sarah and her sister once that he liked the feeling of when you're coming home and you have to shit really bad and then you finally get to shit. he knew right away he shouldn't have said that, that it was creepy. and maybe should not have written it now either. considering how he almost died though, it sort of makes sense.
    his mother used to give him enemas anytime he stayed home sick from school. that was some creepy psycho-sexual affair if there ever was one. anytime he thought about faking being sick he had to take that into consideration. lots of times he faked it anyway. mommy's bad little boy. how many times had he been that though out his life? more than he cares to remember. is that love? - or, uh, confusion? existence, nothing but existence... gotta gotta gotta get away - be a voodoo child. come back and buy this town and put it all in my shoe.
    yes music. as he wrote before, music was the beyond zebra education his generation of baby boomlets, those still in high school - the bubblegum kids - received over the airwaves and down at the record store. he remembers buying 19th nervous breakdown once and getting in the car with his dad. his father asked him what he had gotten. he answered him. he never asked again. he was never much into 50s rock. he was too young - though he liked purple people eater and the song about the girl getting hit by a train - teen angel. now there was a love song. he loved tragic love songs. gee, he wonders why... he also liked the song about how they sunk the bismarck and the battle of new orleans. elvis was some sorry old greasy crooner by the time he noticed him - post army. when the english invasion came he thought buddy holly and chuck berry were guys back in england writing songs for all these bands. he also loved bagpipes. he went to see the black watch once and thought it was the coolest thing ever. he played this one bagpipe album over and over until his sister came in and broke it.
    he missed out on dylan too, except for other people's covers - until he was older and he realized that dylan was responsible for influencing much of 60s music - at least lyrically. listening to the radio. listening to these new fm stations that used to play everything and in-a-gadda-da-vida when the dj wanted to go out and smoke a joint. he started writing because of these songs. he used to try writing his own psychedelic lyrics. they were pretty bad. da da da da rime da da da da rime. but one had to start somewhere. he typed a bunch of them up once on his mother's pre-smashed typewriter. he let people read them. they said they were good though.
    the idea of writing the memoirs came about from his mentioning sigrid and mark that if he ever had a chance to do a phd that he would do a historical/anthropological study about high school kids in the 60s. they are not much written about. it's mostly what was happening with the college kids that draws the attention. they were what was happening. they were on tv. but, as the three of them knew from experience, a lot was happening with high school kids too. they were isolated in the suburbs but  the "revolution" filtered its way through to them anyway, primarily through music. he was going to write about that. in what school he had taken his majors were history and anthropology, except he kept taking almost everything else instead of finishing them. so at the end of about 7-8 years of that, they stopped giving him money. he never graduated. anyway, his two friends told him it was a good idea anyway. mark said he should do it and make stuff up. that's where the idea of writing his own story came from. that was also an idea that he had had for a while. he even already had the title - though someone else he writes to told him he should change it from autobiography to memoirs. memoirs does sound more like what this is - more memory than fact. but, while this covers some of the same subject matter, this is not the dissertation. it is not meant to be. there are no footnotes. it's just his life.

    there was another show kathy and robert did. this was at the college he worked at, that they did for an art class of one of the professors who had seen them perform. at least that's how he thinks it happened. maybe not. but there they were. this show was called, what is art? this was a sample show. it was meant to demonstrate performance art. it had the usual stuff in it.
    but his grandson is coming over and he uses the computer to play games, so that will have to wait.

    ok - he's watching stargate now.
    what this show was exactly is also vague. those damn chemicals. anyway, he's going to have dinner with kathy soon so he'll be able to maybe get more details from her he can fill in later.
    from the tape he can remember that during their brainstorming session, which he taped and used part of it on the tape for the show, they looked up art in the dictionary to find out what is art?

    kathy: it sounds interesting that's there's, uh, an old definition of art (clears throat) that is to confine, restrict, limit in local position or in action. to contain a person to do something.
    robert: to contain a person to do something is art?
    kathy: is art. that's art. to press, urge, to insist on...
    robert: to insist on? so like we're containing these people and insist on them watch what we do?
    kathy: right.
    silas: that's art.
    robert and kathy: that's art.
    (goes into loop: that's art.)

    robert: so, we're confining people within an enclosed space and insist that they view what we do.
    kathy: right.
    robert: that's art. we tie them down first?
    kathy: we enclose them in space.
    robert: oh, that's ok then. they're pretty obedient. i guess we don't have to tie them down first.
    kathy: artifice, contrivance, stratagem...
    robert: so we have them in this enclosed space and we're insisting that they watch our contrivances... that we call art. that is our art.
    kathy: that is art.
    robert: our contrivances.
    kathy: in enclosed space. then we have art in part...
    robert: art in part?
    kathy: art in part.
    robert: this is parts of our art.
    silas: park and art.
    kathy: bark and art - arf arf.
    robert: we park our art in an enclosed space and insist on making these people watch our contrivances. ok - we got that so far.
    (montage)

    kathy: skill, display or application...
    robert: i don't think skill has much to do with it.
    kathy: [unintelligible] skill as an agent, [unintelligible] opposed to nature.
    kathy's husband: opposed to nature?
    robert: we're not opposed to nature.
    kathy: [unintelligible] rhetoric...
    robert: rhetoric? there's a lot of rhetoric in art.
    kathy: [unintelligible] physical or professional skill...
    robert: there's that word skill again.
    kathy: [unintelligible] of an object in and of itself.
    robert: an object in and of itself?
    kathy: [unintelligible]
    (montage)

    robert: contrivances. we're insisting on people watching our contrivances in an enclosed space.
    kathy: uh, b-b-b...
    robert: in other words the technique oblique.
    kathy: [unintelligible] magic art... human art, satanic art, industrial art [unintelligible] useful art...
    robert: industrial magic art?
    kathy: i like useful art.
    robert: i like industrial magic art.
    kathy: fine art...  where the mind and imagination are chiefly concerned...
    robert: what?
    kathy: where the mind and imagination are chiefly concerned.
    robert: i don't think that people should use their mind and imagination with our stuff. it makes too many connections that we don't want to think about.
    kathy: by art or part. either by art in contrivment or by the part...  either by contrivance by participation corrupt...
    robert: corrupt contrivance.
    kathy: [more unintelligible]
    (montage)
    loop of robert: look up contrivance.
    (montage)
    dual loops, kathy: i like useful art. robert: i like industrial magic art.

    kathy: what am i looking up?
    robert: contrivance.
    kathy: contrivance. let's see... contravictorious [maybe]... oh, i like that word. how contravictorious of you.

    this is the way they worked. they would just talk and things would come out. it was some form of free improvising random word association stream of consciousness, or something. they would use this in their art to culminate with a cable tv show called, this is it - a phone-in free form word salad with non-stop video effects.
    kathy, robert and the dj did a tape once in robert's basement that was never used in a show but demonstrates how this worked. it was all improvised on the spot.

dream doctor

    announcer: what are the elements of the good doctor/patient relationship? why do they sometimes go sour? is the compliant patient a good patient? what can be done about the obnoxious patient? or the over-dependent patient who wants advice about everything? these are problems that arrive everyday in the general practice of medicine. and many general practitioners do not realize the extent to which they are using psychotherapeutic skills in maintaining good doctor/patient relationships and in dealing with the emotional problems of such patients.
    slowed down voice: they ended up involved in sex drugs and rock and roll.
    robert: i was thinking that i had this dream but then it wasn't really a dream but then it turned out to be a dream after all.
    kathy: what was your dream?
    dj: you had it.
    robert: and once when i was younger...
    kathy: what was your dream?
    robert: and there were all these mannequins...
    dj: you had it.
    robert: and, ah...
    kathy: i had a dream.
    dj: you had it.
    robert: yeah, and lampshades...
    kathy: once i had a dream...
    dj: once you had it.
    robert: what was your dream?
    kathy: once i had a dream that i won a contest...
    robert: symbols...
    kathy: with flying cats... dream spinning houses...
    robert: those are a few symbols.
    kathy: with scary figures... and broken glasses...
    robert: and dreams where...
    dj: broken dreams.
    robert: and symbols - symbols crashing...
    kathy: and ophthalmologists...
    robert: op-op-op-ophthalmologists?
    kathy: (laughs)
    dj: i'd like a pair of glasses for my third eye.
    kathy: (laughs)
    robert: oh - is an ophthalmologist an eye doctor?
    kathy: no. uh-uh - it's a throat doctor, or a knee doctor...
    dj: or a foot doctor.
    kathy: or a tape doctor.
    robert: a tape doctor?
    kathy: (laughs) what's on the tape, doctor?
    dj: (laughs)
    robert: you need a doctor?
    kathy: i've needed a doctor... because i had a dream...
    robert: i would like to see a doctor.
    dj: i would like to see a doctor. i have yet to see a doctor.
    kathy: i would like to see a dream.
    robert: what would you like to see a doctor do?
    kathy: doctor do?
    robert: doctor do little?
    all: (laugh)
    dj: generally yeah.
    robert: yeah they do. they play golf i know. i had this dream and this doctor... he was playing golf...
    dj: doctor make me better.
    robert: and... and he wasn't very good.
    kathy: i had a dream about an oral surgeon.
    robert: he could have been a lot better.
    kathy: he could have been a lot better...
    dj: doctor, cure me.
    kathy: but he had a bloody mouth...
    robert: an oral surgeon - is that an ophthalmologist?
    kathy: they work on eyes.
    robert: eyes? the eyes have it?
    kathy : they work on dem... dem...
    robert: dem? are you from new jersey?
    kathy: yeah.
    robert: jersey city?
    dj: say, where did you go to college?
    robert: i didn't go to college.
    dj: you didn't?
    robert: well, i did. but then i had a dream that i didn't. so i didn't go. my doctor said i should do something else instead.
    dj: but what would your parents say?
    kathy: parents?
    robert: my... my parents...
    dj: but what do the voices say?
    kathy: the voices say a lot!
    robert: i think you should see a doctor about the voices.
    kathy: but they don't want to go see a doctor.
    dj: doctor, make me better. doctor, make me better.
    robert: you better go see a doctor.
    kathy: one voice said that i should go but the other two voted that i shouldn't go see the doctor.
    dj: doctor, make me better.
    robert: the ophthalmologist?
    kathy: the ophthalmologist because they're underneath my... teeth.
    dj: see the doctor cure me.
    kathy: see the doctor? doctor see?
    robert: about the dreams...
    kathy: doctor make me feel good?
    robert: the dreams i've been having...
    dj: vitamin c from the doctor.
    robert: um, and the dreams have been getting pretty scary lately.
    kathy: what's scary?
    robert: the doctor that's in my dreams.
    kathy: the doctor's scary?
    robert: yeah, and he's playing golf.
    kathy: scary golf doctor?
    robert: and he, um... he turns around and he looks at me.
    kathy: because he's an ophthalmologist.
    robert: yeah... i think.
    kathy: he can see.
    robert: yeah, and he looks... he keeps looking at my eyes, like he wants to use them... in this dream.
    kathy: can he take them out?
    robert: i think he... no...
    kathy: the oral surgeon can.
    dj: take out your dreams?
    kathy: yes.
    robert: the doors keep opening...
    kathy: and closing.
    dj: i'm sorry but we don't open until tomorrow morning at 9...
    kathy: i lost my key.
    robert: yeah, the key to it is that, um...
    kathy: the doctor.
    dj: i'm sorry but we're all closed for the night.
    kathy: can i get a dozen eggs?
    dj: i don't have a map, i don't know how to get there... where's the golf course?
    robert: i think, uh... the golf course is a symbol for...
    kathy: chicken.
    robert: well...
    kathy: and eggs.
    robert: yeah...
    kathy: the little balls are the eggs... and the little flag is the chicken.
    robert: flag?
    kathy: the doctor's flag... so you always know where the doctor is.
    robert: in my dream the flag is burning.
    kathy: call the doctor!
    dj: the doctor is burning.
    kathy: the dream was burning.
    robert: the doc...
    dj: the dream is still burning... maybe that will cure you.
    robert: the doc... doc... the doc...
    kathy: doctor.
    robert: the doctor...
    kathy: the burning doctor.
    robert: was waving a flag.
    kathy: was waving a golf ball.
    robert: he was on the 9th green.
    kathy: he had eyes of golf ball. the oral surgeon needed to remove them.
    dj: the oral surgeon is on the green.
    robert: the oral surgeon...
    kathy: is green.
    robert: oral surgeons don't remove eyes, do they?
    dj: for a special fee they'll take care of it.
    robert: when are they open?
    kathy: i think 9 to 9 because the eggs are delivered at 10.
    all: (laugh)
    robert: that.. that's, uh.. that's...
    kathy: a nonsensical response to a sensible question... i'm sorry.
    robert: well, maybe my question wasn't all that sensible.
    kathy: where's the doctor!?
    robert: you know.. you know when they're going to let us out?
    kathy: out?
    robert: yeah. when do they open?
    kathy: the oral surgeon pulls the teeth out.
    dj: it's just like pulling teeth... wouldn't you know it.
    kathy: it's tough to get outta this place.
    dj: indeed... maybe the dentist can pull it out for you.
    kathy: the dentist? i thought it was an ophthalmologist.
    robert: but it might have been a dentist. they play golf too, don't they?
    kathy: but they don't have those burning flags.
    dj: and the don't have that sweet air.
    kathy: and they don't go off into the woods picking mushrooms.
    all: (laugh)
    robert: i think they're bringing mushrooms too.. with the eggs. i'd like to have an omelet with mushrooms and...
    kathy: and burning flag.
    dj: a burning flag omelet, of course. the american way to start the day with your burning flag omelet served in the cafeteria at the beautiful burning tree golf course in alexandria, virginia... or wherever it is.
    robert: don't a lot of doctors play golf there?
    kathy: john wayne plays golf there.
    dj: john wayne plays doctor there.
    kathy: he has a burning flag... coming out of his ear... and his nose.
    robert: what do you think john wayne would do...?
    kathy: he'd go to the doctor.
    robert: john... wayne.. i don't think he ever went to a doctor.
    kathy: no - that's why he died.
    robert: did john wayne die?
    kathy: john wayne died.
    robert: did they ever make a statue of him somewhere?
    kathy: i think they made a statue of his hat.
    robert: which one?
    kathy: the big one... that the ophthalmologist removed when he had his teeth put in.
    dj: would you like to have a statue made of your hat when you have your teeth put in?
    kathy: i don't have a hat. my teeth are another matter.
    [unintelligible - everyone talking at once]
    kathy: ...but my teeth could.
    dj: ok - well, let them.
    robert: but wait...
    kathy: but your hat isn't there.
    dj: i'm waiting... i'm waiting...
    robert: but i don't have a hat, see?
    kathy: but i have teeth there.
    robert: on my hat?
    kathy: on your hat... but it's not your hat actually, it's his hat.
    robert: well i can't see if i have a hat or not.
    kathy: [unintelligible] and that's why you can't see if you have a hat or not.
    dj: i'm not sure which hat i should wear at any given moment. i have only one head to put on several hats.
    kathy: a matter of indecision.
    dj: they slide off and i don't which one will be the right one to be the hat of the moment.
    kathy: a matter of indecision.
    dj: the hat of the moment.
    robert: but what if you have several heads and only one hat?
    kathy: several heads?
    robert: and only one hat. what do they do?
    kathy: call the doctor.
    dj: call the doctor.
    kathy: have those heads removed.
    dj: immediately.
    kathy: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
    robert: which one?
    dj: the one that gives any back talk.
    robert: back talk? is that where the voices are coming from?
    kathy: is that what's happening to the machine?
    dj: where are these voices coming from?
    kathy: feedback talk.
    dj: [unintelligible]
    kathy: oh, well then i'll ask him then.
    robert: wait - is the machine watching us now?
    kathy: shhhh...
    robert: i think i want to get out of here now.
    kathy: but you can't leave because the door's looked.
    robert: but they told me they were going to open it... when they brought the eggs.
    kathy: the eggs were brought but the key wasn't.
    robert: i can't get out?
    kathy: well, you can.
    robert: how?
    kathy: in the egg.
    dj: ah, indeed.
    robert: oh... all right... i didn't think of that.
    kathy: crack it carefully.
    robert: does the egg have a hat?
    kathy: it has a burning flag.
    robert: a burning flag like the doctor?
    kathy: ...golf ball.
    robert: yeah, that dream i had about (clears throat)...
    kathy: yeah - the burning... dream.
    robert: yeah - it did burn... i think... it was at night...
    kathy: burning christmas.
    robert: maybe this is still the dream...
    kathy: maybe the key is here in the dream.
    robert: maybe you two are... in the dream...
    kathy: i'm the doctor.
    robert: but i don't need a doctor.
    kathy: well then you're not sick.
    dj: that's obvious... i mean one follows the other.
    kathy: one's obvious and the other one follows.
    dj: one follows the other. one comes and then comes the other.
    kathy: who's sick?
    robert: logic never fails.
    kathy: who isn't sick?
    dj: well if logic never fails...
    kathy: i'm sick.. but i'm the doctor.
    robert: wait - did i tell you that i didn't have a hat?
    kathy: you told me that i said it first but that you still didn't have one.
    robert: does he have a hat?
    kathy: he won't wear one because he [unintelligible]
    dj: i don't' need a hat. i have an information storage bank.
    robert: ooo - where did you get it?
    dj: it's part of my binary unit. you wanna hear me thinking? on/off - on/off - on/off -  on/off - on/off...
    kathy: call the doctor.
    dj: ...on/off - on/off - on/off...
    robert: i think he's having  a dream.
    dj: i'm storing information.
    robert and kathy: he's storing information.
    dj: down time.
    kathy: uptown. treetop.
    robert: bread.
    kathy: fine line.
    dj: ah - a very fine.
    kathy: tripped out. hipped out.
    robert: you know, ah - i was there... and this guy, ah, threw this banana peel...
    kathy: did he plug it in?
    robert: no - he tried to... but then he threw it. and somebody came around the corner and fell on it.
    kathy: on their knothole?
    dj: slipped - did they ever land?
    robert: no - the doctor came and he stopped it.
    dj: the things they carry in their black bags...
    robert: what do they carry in their...
    kathy: but it wouldn't empty out.
    robert: that's where they keep their golf balls.
    kathy: yeah.
    robert: in egg containers.
    kathy: yeah.
    dj: ah...
    kathy: yes.
    dj: have a nice day.
    kathy: yes.
    robert: ah... when did they stop putting librium in 7up?
    dj: save gas. same time. save money.
    robert: because i think i need a 7up.
    dj: save gas. save time. save money.
    robert: because my dreams are becoming really scary.
    kathy: i think you ought to send it by registered letter.
    dj: save gas. save time. save money.
    kathy: i think you should send it express mail. things are going too slow around here. what happened to that hour?
    robert: your socks are glowing.
    kathy: my socks need a doctor... because they're too slow.
    robert: and he had on a red shirt... this guy...
    kathy: and he had a 7up.
    robert: the guy came to me in a bar in a red shirt... because i had a red shirt.
    dj: well it's those secret messages once again.
    robert: yeah, he came to me because i had on a red shirt and he had a red shirt.
    kathy: then he stapled the message on it.
    dj: good thing that's the way we communicate.
    kathy: and what did the message say?
    robert: ahh...
    dj: i like your shirt.
    robert: well, it was sealed in an envelope.
    kathy: and you didn't dare open it.
    robert: no - i was supposed to bring it to the doctor.
    kathy: well, i'm the doctor.
    robert: but...
    kathy: can you give me the message?
    robert: well... are you an ophthalmologist?
    kathy: oh no no no - i'm an oral surgeon. i take things out. i can take the message out of the envelope and cause only minimal bleeding.
    robert: but i don't like blood.
    kathy: you don't have to see it. you won't see anything. i'll take your eyes out.
    robert: but how will i read the message?
    kathy: i'll read it to you. trust me, i'm your doctor... trust me, i'm your doctor.
    dj: trust your doctor.
    kathy: frustrate your doctor.
    robert: but if you're not my doctor then i can't trust you.
    dj: in god we trust.
    kathy: there you go.
    robert: god?
    kathy: let god open it.
    dj: let god go.
    kathy: let dog go.
    dj: why don't you open it?
    kathy: watch out - there goes the dog.
    robert: maybe someday i can go to church and i can take the message...
    kathy: i wouldn't do that.
    dj: which one will he be at?
    kathy: the doctor. and you've seen it before.
    robert: well, i'll read the church section of the newspaper...
    kathy: well......
    robert: that's  a deep subject.
    kathy: yes - i've heard it all before (laughs).
    robert: you think this will ever get on tv?
    kathy: no.
    robert: they don't let things like this on tv, do they?
    kathy: yes.
    dj: what kind of thing is this?
    robert: well i wasn't....
    kathy: it was a cyst and the doctor came and removed it.
    robert: what's that thumping?
    kathy: i don't know - but once a little boy told me that he had a cyst on his face and opened it with a fish hook and pulled the inside of it out with some needle nosed pliers.
    dj: what did he use on the fish hook for bait?
    kathy: um... a couple of dollars i believe.
    robert: but doesn't the dollar say in god we trust?
    kathy: it says in doctor we trust.
    robert: and then there's that pyramid with the eye on it - what does that mean?
    kathy: don't look at that.
    robert: why?
    dj: it means see a travel agent. fly to egypt.
    robert: is that where the pyramids are?
    kathy: no, they're in washington dc.
    robert: oh, they moved them?
    kathy: all seven wonders are in washington dc.
    dj: located a mere 3 miles behind the capital building.
    kathy: your tour guide bonzo will...
    dj: keep you eyes to the front.
    robert: the front of what?
    kathy: the front of...
    dj: the front so that you don't see what's in back.
    kathy: the front of...
    robert what's.. what's behind me? is there a pyramid behind me?
    kathy: it might be scary, just like that dream you had.
    robert: then in the dream i turn on this light and i'm in this room where... there were some people... no - they weren't people, they were all doctors.
    kathy: doctors?
    robert: and they were all carrying eggs.
    kathy: i've never seen an egg before with a doctor.
    robert: yeah, they delivered the egg and the egg had a message in it.
    kathy: don't open it!
    dj: until it's ready.
    kathy: because you can't read.
    dj: in it's own time.
    kathy: you eyes have been removed and replaced by golf balls. here - i'll read it to you. trust me. i'm the doctor. trust me.
    dj: trust me.
    kathy: i'm your doctor.
    robert: but.. but you're not god...
    kathy: close.
    dj: have you ever seen him?
    robert: well...
    kathy: but you've seen me, and i've performed miracles.
    robert: yeah, but they...
    kathy: like when i give you this pill.
    dj: take this pill.
    kathy: take this and eat it.
    robert: that's not a miracle, that's only technology.
    kathy: it's a miracle.
    dj: don't you want to get better?
    robert: but technology isn't a miracle.
    dj: don't you want the technology to get better?
    kathy: trust your doctor.
    dj: take your drugs. take your technology. take your doctor.
    kathy: we have to take that out with a fish hook.
    dj: we'll have that taken care of immediately.
    kathy: what do i use for bait?
    dj: you'll feel better in no time.
    robert: the dream... was about being...
    dj: you'll be ready to go back in two weeks. won't you be glad?
    kathy: we want to keep your mind on your job.
    robert: i don't have a job.
    kathy: well...
    dj: you don't have a mind.
    robert: they said i needed a hat.
    kathy: but i was the one who didn't have a hat first.
    robert: that's only because you said it first. i was going to say it before you. i don't think that was very nice.
    kathy: but i'm the doctor. i always speak first and last.
    robert: but you're supposed to listen to me.
    kathy: i don't need to listen to you - i know everything.
    robert: but... then why am i here?
    kathy: because you're sick.
    robert: no.
    kathy: because you think about your dreams.
    dj: because you have no family and you have no friends...
    kathy: and no job either.
    dj: and you pay the doctor by the hour to listen to you - because it might be your social contact for the week.
    robert: it said that on that message... about the doctors.
    kathy: what about the doctor?
    robert: that some people go to their doctor just because they don't have any friends.
    kathy: well, trust me.
    dj: when doctor is your only friend...
    robert: some people think god is their friend.
    kathy: that's what i mean - you can't see god, can you? - hmmm... you can see me.
    robert: some people say that god is dreaming all this.
    kathy: there's no such thing as dreams.
    dj: there's no such thing as god.
    kathy: there's no such thing as heaven - but there is your doctor.
    robert: but the doctor said... if i ever had a dream about god...
    kathy: in case you have a dream about god - call your doctor. tell him about it. he'll write it down.
    robert: but they say god can help me.
    kathy: don't believe everything you see and hear.
    robert: but you told me to believe you...
    kathy: that's different. i'm your doctor. trust me.
    robert: but if this is only a dream...
    kathy: who can you trust if you can't trust your dream doctor?
    robert: but what if the dreams are real and this is the dream?
    kathy: why do you have to think so much? that's why you don't have a job.
    robert: i can't... i try not to think but i keep thinking anyway. maybe they'll put one of those things in my head. do you have one of those?
    kathy: i'll put one of those things in your head. here, let me call the oral surgeon...
    robert: he's gonna put it in my mouth?
    kathy: he'll pull your teeth out to provide an access to your brain.
    robert: but that's how people kill themselves. they put a gun in their mouths and they shoot themselves.
    kathy: that's what he does. you're not supposed to know that because he's the doctor.
    robert: but he'll kill me!
    kathy: well that's a consequence you'll have to suffer.
    dj: well, eggs come by the dozen.
    kathy: yeah. he was a good egg too.
    dj: that's right.
    kathy: but poor old guy - too many dreams - too many thoughts - just thinking for himself - got into trouble - lost his job - couldn't fit in...
    dj: working in his yard. car ran him over.
    kathy: yeah, well, and all that stuff... who cares, we'll get another dozen.
    robert: a dozen what?
    kathy: eggs - hey eggie!
    robert: i've been having a lot of dreams about eggs. what do you think that means?
    kathy: i think...
    dj: why did the dream cross the road?
    kathy: to get to the other chicken.
    dj: exactly.
    robert: i never get to the other side of the road in my dreams.
    kathy: well...
    robert: what does that mean?
    kathy: it means that you better start dreaming about eggs.
    robert: but i do dream about eggs.
    kathy: well, then you're on the other side.
    robert: then this...
    kathy: don't look back...
    robert: is that pyramid behind me. i keep having a dream that... a dream about...
    kathy: someone watching you?
    robert: yeah, the pyramid - i has an eye on it like on the dollar bill.
    kathy: poke it's eye out. call the ophthalmologist.
    robert: why did they put that on the dollar bill? it doesn't mean anything, does it?
    kathy: yes, it does.
    robert: what does that have to do with america?
    kathy: uh - it means, we want oil and we see where it is.
    robert: is that why the grateful dead played at the pyramids? they were looking for oil?
    kathy: yes. they were grateful they were dead. you'd be grateful too. that's what your government is trying to do for you.
    dj: make you dead.
    robert: they're on the other side?
    kathy: make you dead. and you won't even take the job. you won't even fill out the application.
    dj: you thankless ingrate.
    robert: they said i needed a hat.
    kathy: but i don't have a hat!
    robert: you only said that because you knew that i was going to say it. you knew i was going to say it. you always know things...
    kathy: but i'm the doctor, i know what you're going to say because i've studied things like this.
    robert: but you... you always say things before i say them. you  never give me a chance.
    kathy: how can i give you a chance? there's a dozen like you. just look in that carton over there.
    robert: but you're not wearing a red shirt. this guy came to me in this bar, and he was wearing a red shirt. and he came to me because i was wearing a red shirt.
    kathy: that's when he stapled the egg on you, right?
    robert: well...
    dj: maybe he thought you were ernest hemmingway, calling the bulls home.
    kathy: doctors are very earnest in their work.
    dj: doctors are usually full of shit in their work.
    kathy: hey! i'm the doctor.
    dj: are you full of shit, doc?
    robert: hey, can he say that?
    kathy: sometimes...
    robert: someone's coming down the stairs.
    (rachel came down into the basement to see what the hell they were up to.)
    robert: someone's looking around the corner.
    kathy: it's the other doctor. it's the oral surgeon.
    robert: hey, come here. come here.... i think they going back upstairs. what was that? it looked looked one of us but was smaller.
    kathy: i think it was something from your dream.
    dj: maybe it was an egg. only 10 left in that dozen now.
    kathy: is that a baker's dozen? you know, they told me in school that there was no such thing as a baker's dozen. but then i found out later that there was. but they don't want anyone to believe that because it was something held over from the old days, when people used to give you a little extra for nothing.
    kathy: when they used to give you 13 instead of 12.
    robert: yeah, because they were nice. but nobody's nice anymore.
    kathy: they were pagans.
    robert: yeah, they were pagans back then and they were nice.
    dj: good we're not that anymore - boy.
    robert: you don't have to be nice now.
    kathy: nope, now you can give an even 12.
    dj: god will be nice now for you.
    kathy: 12 based on the 4 which is the square, like 4 square gospel - instead of 13.
    robert: you know what i was thinking... i had a dream... about the resurrection...
    dj: you... you're dreaming two... two (laughs)...
    kathy: different things.
    dj: in one thought.
    kathy: yeah.
    dj (whispering): we need a doctor.
    kathy: (whispering): i am the doctor. i have the hat on.
    robert: doctors don't have hats.
    kathy: but i said i didn't have a hat.
    robert: but i was going to say that. and i was trying to say something else too... but you won't let me say it.
    kathy: that's because i've already hear it before.
    robert: but you haven't heard this. i haven't told you this yet.
    kathy: well, all right - say it.
    robert: well, i was thinking that if all this christian stuff is true, and god's gonna come back... and he's only going to save those who ask him for forgiveness. but i was thinking that it's not really me who should ask for forgiveness but he should ask for forgiveness for all the things he's done to us. i didn't ask for him to make me live.
    kathy: no.
    robert: that's all you can say? your my doctor, you're supposed to say a lot more than that. i'm paying $60 and hour.
    kathy: you said you had something to say that i've never heard before.
    robert: did you hear that before?
    kathy: no.
    robert: see, i told you. you don't know everything, do you?
    kathy: no.
    robert: even with your hat on.
    kathy: let me take it off.
    robert: i'm not going to give you this message. i was supposed to give you a message but i'm not going to give it to you.
    dj: how will we recognize it when it's given? what form will the message take? what language will it be in? what senses will we use to receive it?
    kathy: he's got an awful lot of questions.
    robert: i think he should see the doctor.
    dj: i think i should see the doctor.
    kathy: i am the doctor.
    robert: there's that thing again... that came down the stairs. it's going back up the stairs again. i wish you'd stop doing that with your cup (kathy had been clinking her cup for awhile).
    kathy (stops): what cup?
    robert: the cup with the egg in it.
    kathy: oh.
    robert: well, you can do it - go ahead. (she does) it's just all these other things that keep bothering me... in these dreams... these eggs - they keep bothering me. they won't leave me alone. (kathy now starts banging on the side of the furnace with one of his tennis ball drum sticks) they keep telling me that i have to go to a golf course.
    dj: well, which golf course is it? what color are you? what religion are you? we have to know that first before we know if you can get into a golf course.
    robert: i have a hat now.
    dj: a white hat or black hat?
    robert: it's green.
    kathy: i wanna talk about machines.
    dj: sorry - won't make it.
    robert: we were talking about machines before.
    dj: machines won't make it.
    kathy: but after that i want to speak with someone about the color blue.
    dj: maybe someone can make it. maybe we can go though the blue.
    kathy: what about the clocks?
    robert: maybe the pyramids are machines. they say that they might be machines.
    kathy: they're clumsy.
    robert: the pyramids?
    kathy: the clocks.
    robert: didn't they put them on the dollar bill?
    kathy: yeah, with an eyeball on it that the oral surgeon removed from the doctor.
    robert: but then how can the doctor see the eggs?
    kathy: the doctor is an egg. and he doesn't have a hat on. and besides that, i'm the doctor.
    all: (laugh and make various noises)

    kathy later did become a doctor - a phd.
    at this time she just had a master's.
    she specializes in early childhood development and psychology.